onsdag den 27. juli 2011

I hate myself sometimes.
Not as in I think I am fat and ugly, not at all. But because it's so easy to worry me, and I'm easy to scare and I guess oit comes with me knowing I am a person who can not do much about anything really... and I hate it I donøt know how many times I have worried myself so much I've ended up with an upset stomach instead and an angsty feeling and I hate it big time. Not only am I easy to scare I worry about stuff for a LONG time... I heard in the news for a long time now that a meteor MAY (just MAY) hit earth in 2012 and I got so scared. Would we all be killed? WIll it hurt? What about myt parents and my siblings... my friends? all those thoughts when trough my head and I kept them there for several mounths and I couldn't sleep...

I was actually scared of sleeping because to me it seems like eveything bad comes to live during night time and when it was sunny and nice during mornings, I wasn't scared at all... just at night. I ended up talkignt omy BF alot of times about this subject and I was so amazed over how calm he was and all "But sweetie... We can catually change the course of teh meteor, and not only that, NASA will know anout the meteor several YEARS in adavance so they can prepare so don't be scared" to me it was a mild conviction to my fear and I was calm for a few days and then the fear started gaining in on me again and I had to talk to him again.

It wen't on like that for some months and I wouldn't dare look out a window during night time because what IF i say something weird? Like an U.F.O or a weird light I couldn't explaine? and I would just end up becomming more scared than befor and it wasn't until we saw a news program in TV with a dude who knew about meteors that I finally killed my fear, it was nice to hear about all this from a guy who knew about all this and he said that it wouldn't hit becasue we had all the chances to change it's course, just like my BF had said and I could finally sleep again.

Yes I am a real scardycat and a worryvort and I don't like being since it removes my focus on what's going on NOW and not what will be. If I keep fearing fro everything about my life and my health I will never really live my life and I will just end up one day wondering "where did my life go?" The sad thing about all this is that all the talk about, meteors, volcanos and other things hitting the earth in 2012 mademe worry again. I KNOW all of this won't happy JUST because it's suddenly 2012 and the world is suppose to end then, but I can't help but being annoyed that some way the medias got to me with their "OH NO WE ARE GOING TO DIE! BUY OUR NEWSPAPER TO KNOW MORE " news and I and agry with that... I hope I will find a way for me to handle my constant fear of dying or anything like that because this is just... fustrating.

Is there something you are scared of? A Phobia maybe?
WHat do you do to handle it?

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