For I am ever so envious. And I really hate envy. It’s a really nasty and ugly feeling to have towards other people. But just why am I feeling envious? Well there are a lot of reasons to it, and I try not to let it get the best of me. But one of my main reasons is that it feels like everybody I know on J-fashion keeps on posting on how much brand they are waiting for in the mail, and how their family or lover bought them this gorgeous new JSK from Angelic pretty. But what annoys me the most about this is that I let myself be bothered by it. I know I don’t have the money to buy brand all the time and I KNOW my family and hubby would never buy me Lolita stuff since they don’t know here to buy it and HOW to buy it. So that is why I’m feeling envious. But I feel bad about it. It makes me feel sick knowing that I get so jealous of not having what material good that others have and even get sad over it. On the other hand I don’t feel envious toward the girl who uses the banks money to buy her brand, or the loli who is so spoiled her parents gives her anything she wants. I mean relly! Where the hell do they get all that money from? How is it possible to save that much money with only a few weeks intervention to suddenly buy brand again? HOW?! Even with a JOB you'd have to save for some time.
But I can’t help but feeling like a an Ita for not being able to buy all the newest brand in the Lolita fashion world but that is my own fault and not everybody else’s. I can’t help but feeling angry with myself somehow for being so picky with what prints I want to wear, and that is all thanks to my only wanting to wear Classic, EGL and Gothic since I find it more mature and fitting for me. I started wearing sweet Lolita when I first heard of Lolita but every time I wore my pink shirt, with my pink headbow, pink kneesocks, pink handbag, white short and white shoes I couldn’t help but seeing myself as a chubby piece of cotton candy looking out from the mirror, so it wasn’t long after that I threw away my sweet stuff. Instead I started looking at the more mature stiles like Elegant Gothic Lolita and classic which I ended up finding way more appealing to me that sweet and Hime. I bought myself an AP dress from one on the EGL_salescommunity and I feel madly in love with the dress, it looks wonderful on me and the quality was amazing.
I soon after bought an Anna House dress in wine read which was also very beautiful and look rather nice on me, so I must say I’ve found my stiles. I later on bought a Surface Spell jsk from Qutie land which made me look very grown up, so I wore it to the fashion show which was held at the J-pop convention and I was ever so happy, but when I was the pictures from the fashion show I caught myself constantly thinking “omg! Lookt at how FAT my legs look! I have SO tiny feet, YIKES! Why do I look so chubby?!” And I just grew… sad. It feels like I will never be able to find the stile for me that really compliment MY body form. And again I grow envious and jealous because I looked at some of the other lolis who where bigger than me who just looked so beautiful in their OP attire and I just felt so ugly compared to them, why does even the loli fashion industry have to be characterized by the thin models? It’s about time they showed some chubby lolis so us who isn’t exactly the thinnest twig in the wood may feel pretty to and like there is actually hope for us. Hopefully my new diet will work. I’ve started drinking a LOT of water, which I am really bad at since I hat water and I’ve started eating all the time (fruits and carrots) to keep my metabolism active all the time. I am really bad a remembering myself to eat breakfast and get my stomach working from the start of my morning.
In other news I found this absolutely wonderful JSK I would just LOVE and KILL for to own! I would so want it in red for Christmas with a white shirt underneath it. Isn’t it just amazing? Can’t you just see this at Christmas time, whilst out Christmas shipping, OH JOY!
http://yaplog.jp/ap-sendai/archive/3578
Speaking of Christmas where will you guys be spending it this yeah?
4 kommentarer:
Don't be envious ^^ We're a lot who can't afford buying brands, so you're not the only one! ^^
(going to spend Christmas at home, with my parent, my big sister, and one of my big brothers ^^ )
Awww that sounds nice :D
I'll be spending it with my hubby and his mom :D
But yeah it just FEELS like everybody is buying a shit-load of brand every time haha :)
Every lolita is beautiful and I'm sure you are too! Perhaps some just earn more than others, or some don't really spend on anything else, which is why they can buy a lot of clothes? :)
Keep your chin up! You don't have to buy brand to look beautiful!
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